Olesia Pokusaeva

What puberty is and how to deal with it

Raging hormones and conflicts with peers are not whims, but signs of puberty in teenagers. 360.ru found out what stages of puberty boys and girls go through, what affects it and what parents should not do.

What is puberty

Puberty is a period during which significant changes occur in the adolescent body. They are necessary for the full development of the reproductive system, which in turn leads to readiness for childbearing.

Puberty is divided into several stages. In total, there are five of them: prepubertal, beginning, middle stage, late stage and completion.

At each stage, the mammary glands in girls and testicles in boys develop, and secondary sexual characteristics are fully formed.

Основные признаки полового созревания

Puberty in boys

  • Hair appears on the genitals, armpit area, and face;
  • Testicles enlarge;
  • Voice breaks;
  • Sweat gland activity increases, leading to body odor;
  • Acne protrudes on the skin of the face, back, and chest;
  • Nocturnal pollutions (involuntary ejaculation);
  • Muscles of the chest and shoulders develop.
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Puberty in girls

  • Breast growth;
  • Hair appears in the groin and armpits;
  • Menstruation begins;
  • Increased sebum production;
  • Fat deposits increase;
  • Pelvic bones develop.

When puberty begins and what factors influence its timing

Puberty goes differently for everyone.

“Now the boundary of the beginning of puberty in girls is down - 10-11 years old. In boys it is still the same - 13-14. This period is really very painful. In guys it is at least shorter: from 13 to 17-18”, - told 360.ru child and family psychologist Olesya Pokusaeva.
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The beginning of puberty is considered to be the norm for boys between nine and 14 years of age, and for females between eight and 13 years of age.

As noted by Pavel Berezhansky, MD, associate professor at the Department of Pediatric Diseases of Sechenov University, a pediatrician at Morozov Hospital, girls go through puberty a year earlier. By the time a child reaches the lower age bar, the first stage of maturation of almost all body systems, including the nervous and endocrine systems, is completed. Nature laid down so that the next should be the restructuring of the neurohormonal background for the continuation of offspring.

“All female hormones are immunostimulants. Therefore, in puberty in girls, the immune system works better. Boys are more often sick, more sleepy, lethargic, because their hormones are immunosuppressors. But the guys do not appear or quickly pass allergic reactions, “- added Berezhansky.

But this is normal. Puberty can come later. The doctor emphasized several key factors:

  • Heredity;
  • Race (for example, in mestizos);
  • Sports. Those who are into it professionally, such as Olympians, have a hormonal imbalance. The body needs to work on strength and endurance, hence changes in the circulatory system and nutrition of the organs;
  • Thinness. Retention of nutrients, vitamins and trace elements;
  • Stress. This includes tension due to external factors, which include bullying and gaslighting. With severe stress, puberty can be delayed by up to 2.5 years;
  • Presence of chronic diseases. Frequent illnesses lead to impaired immunity, iron deficiency and other conditions.
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The process of puberty may not end, which is considered quite common. As Berezhansky specified, this is affected by chronic and genetic diseases, lack of vitamins and microelements.

“For girls, the most terrible consequence of such a violation is infertility. In guys, adrenal insufficiency affects the release of male sex hormones. Therefore, it may not break the voice,” the expert explained.

Psychological changes during puberty

Girls begin to experience hormonal changes. They are no longer attracted to their peers because they are developing more slowly. Instead, they are attracted to older boys. According to Olesya Pokusaeva, this becomes a problem, because boys start to like girls of the same age because of the increase in testosterone levels.

“Unfortunately, we have few educational institutions where there is a separation by gender. Conflicts arising from raging hormones lead to problems in studies. This should be avoided if possible,” the psychologist added.
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Adolescence in general is famous for the activity of hormones. Those who go through it want to be both children and adults at the same time. To get the privileges of life 18+, but not to take responsibility for their actions.

On the one hand, children shout about their independence, asking not to be disturbed and do not interfere in their affairs. On the other hand, they ask for pity because they are “still small”.

Lifehacks for parents

Many family members do not understand puberty and adolescence in general. It is important for parents to realize that sudden tantrums and outbursts of anger are the result of hormonal outbursts, not whims, and that children cannot control them. Mothers, like fathers, need awareness.

“At one time, I was very helped by one lifehack. Against such a strong manifestation of negativity in a teenager helps with sweets. If the child has favorite candies, buy them, hide them and give one at a time during attacks, like a medicine. It is important that the place of their storage remains secret,” the expert emphasized.
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The 360.ru interviewee also recommended avoiding conflict situations. After all, adults, unlike children, are fully aware of responsibility for their actions, they do not have bright uncontrollable outbursts of aggression.

Emotionalism can go sideways and parents, if they get involved in the conflict and take some sanctions - for example, for the mat. Physical punishment is even more inadmissible. Instead, it is better to contact a specialist in time.
Now there are a lot more aware teenagers whose parents often call and say, “You know, my child has asked me to find him a psychologist. That is, children realize that they cannot cope with the situation and ask for help. And parents need to listen to them, rather than dismiss them in the spirit of “what kind of nonsense you've come up with” - I've heard that too.

Olesya Pokusaeva
Parental advice is devalued during puberty. If the relationship with your child has deteriorated, you should try your best to get involved and fix it before it's too late. For example, try to influence through friends.