The most effective method of bringing up children is the example set by their parents. This opinion was expressed by child and family psychologist Olesya Pokusaeva in a conversation with Radio 1. According to her, the way mom and dad behave with the child, forms in him an understanding of how serious this or that punishment can be, or, on the contrary, the child does not get any idea of what educational measure was applied to him.
“It is strange to demand that a child be a cleaner when the parents themselves clean the house only when they expect guests,” Pokusaeva said.
The psychologist drew attention to two important points. In the first case, she pointed out that the younger the child, the more often it is necessary to convey to him educational functions in a playful form. The second point - if a child does something on his own, it is important not to redo it for him, even if he, in the opinion of parents, did everything wrong. Such actions will only take away his desire and motivation to help dad and mom.
“Children are people, only small,” emphasized the interlocutor of Radio 1.
In addition, she noted that punishment in the form of putting the child in a corner as such a punishment for him may not be a punishment, because often at this time in his hands is a gadget. As such, the point of the punishment is lost at that point, and the parent is not properly conveying the key message of the educational measure.
“All children are different. If someone can apply a method of “sit in your room, think, apologize”, then some child isolation from the rest of the family can cause hysteria. Therefore, psychologists and educators usually do not give general recommendations on how exactly to act. Each child should be approached individually. What, for example, worked on the older child may not work on the younger one,” Pokusaeva said.
The interlocutor of “Radio 1” also mentioned corporal punishment, calling it inadmissible. At the same time, she explained in what cases parents resort to such measures:
“This happens from powerlessness, when there is nothing more to say, and all the admonitions have been repeated 150 times. Here parents think that it is easier to give a spanking or a belt. That it will be effective. But it doesn't work either.
In this connection, the psychologist recalled the method of Saturday flogging, which was described by Maxim Gorky in his story “Childhood”. In her opinion, such a measure of upbringing was “the only conditionally working”.
“There [in the story - editor's note] they whipped on Saturdays. The child had a list of some transgressions, and he knew that if everything was good by Saturday, he would get some kind of reward. If not, a whipping awaited him. But the point is that back then it was not done in haste and it was done consciously. A child did something and realized that there would be payback for it. What do today's parents do? The child ran across the street, the mom got scared and immediately smacked him. She has her own stress at that moment, she doesn't know how to get the child's point across. This is an emotional punishment, which does not work,” Pokusaeva explained.
According to the interlocutor of “Radio 1”, parents often solve their own problems through physical punishment. Therefore, adults should remember how important it is to show children their own correct example.
Earlier VTsIOM published data that about 16% of Russians use admonishment and instruction as the main method of bringing up children. At the same time 19% of the country's residents put the child in a corner.
“It is strange to demand that a child be a cleaner when the parents themselves clean the house only when they expect guests,” Pokusaeva said.
The psychologist drew attention to two important points. In the first case, she pointed out that the younger the child, the more often it is necessary to convey to him educational functions in a playful form. The second point - if a child does something on his own, it is important not to redo it for him, even if he, in the opinion of parents, did everything wrong. Such actions will only take away his desire and motivation to help dad and mom.
“Children are people, only small,” emphasized the interlocutor of Radio 1.
In addition, she noted that punishment in the form of putting the child in a corner as such a punishment for him may not be a punishment, because often at this time in his hands is a gadget. As such, the point of the punishment is lost at that point, and the parent is not properly conveying the key message of the educational measure.
“All children are different. If someone can apply a method of “sit in your room, think, apologize”, then some child isolation from the rest of the family can cause hysteria. Therefore, psychologists and educators usually do not give general recommendations on how exactly to act. Each child should be approached individually. What, for example, worked on the older child may not work on the younger one,” Pokusaeva said.
The interlocutor of “Radio 1” also mentioned corporal punishment, calling it inadmissible. At the same time, she explained in what cases parents resort to such measures:
“This happens from powerlessness, when there is nothing more to say, and all the admonitions have been repeated 150 times. Here parents think that it is easier to give a spanking or a belt. That it will be effective. But it doesn't work either.
In this connection, the psychologist recalled the method of Saturday flogging, which was described by Maxim Gorky in his story “Childhood”. In her opinion, such a measure of upbringing was “the only conditionally working”.
“There [in the story - editor's note] they whipped on Saturdays. The child had a list of some transgressions, and he knew that if everything was good by Saturday, he would get some kind of reward. If not, a whipping awaited him. But the point is that back then it was not done in haste and it was done consciously. A child did something and realized that there would be payback for it. What do today's parents do? The child ran across the street, the mom got scared and immediately smacked him. She has her own stress at that moment, she doesn't know how to get the child's point across. This is an emotional punishment, which does not work,” Pokusaeva explained.
According to the interlocutor of “Radio 1”, parents often solve their own problems through physical punishment. Therefore, adults should remember how important it is to show children their own correct example.
Earlier VTsIOM published data that about 16% of Russians use admonishment and instruction as the main method of bringing up children. At the same time 19% of the country's residents put the child in a corner.